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About Deviant Artist Gordon HoffmanMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 9 Years
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Literature
Observing... Cups and Glasses
Observing...
Cups and Glasses
Today we will be looking into the world of cups and glasses. The subject of cups and glasses is an extremely interesting one. The simple fact of the matter is obviously that glasses are superior to cups, but let's explore the reasons why.
First we should go over the basic idea of what cups and glasses are and what they are used for so that you may get a full understanding of the subject. People use cups and glasses alike for various tasks, such as scooping, pouring, mixing, tossing, and drinking. Some people also use cups and glasses for protection and seeing, respectively, but those techniques are of complexity beyond the scope of this text. Cups and glasses generally have a cylindrical shape with one end, commonly the top, open so that things may be inserted or removed. They should not be confused with cans, pots, umbrella stands, or any other similarly shaped objects.
Now that you know the fundamentals of cups and glasses, we can begin del
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TheImageWhichIsSometimesMyD... by Gorfinhofin TheImageWhichIsSometimesMyD... :icongorfinhofin:Gorfinhofin 2 1 Food Chain by Gorfinhofin Food Chain :icongorfinhofin:Gorfinhofin 1 2
Literature
Observing... Pens
Observing...
Pens
Today we will be looking into the world of pens. Pens are, along with pencils, one of the two chiefly used writing implements in our modern society. Unlike pencils, pens use ink, which is a thick, dark coloured liquid which stains paper and skin very well. This ink is often contained in a thin plastic tube in the center of the pen. Sometimes, however, it is contained separately, and a special type of pen, called a fountain pen, is dipped into the ink before it can be used to write with.
A pen with an exposed tip is not something you want to carry around in your pocket with you, as it will stain the inside of the pocket. Luckily, pen manufacturers have thought of this, and devised two ways to prevent such unfortunate things from happening. The first way is by placing a cap on top of the pen. This cap is, if you will imagine the pen personified for a moment, like a long hat which fits snugly over the pen's head and across its face. The second method is to design
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Literature
Slim Meets His Nemesis
CRIMINALS WANTED
About to commit a crime? Got nobody to try to stop you? Slim can help with that! Slim provides professional crime fighting at reasonable prices. You won't be disappointed. His services are available at any time, day or night, rain or shine. The police may say they have crime fighting down pat, but they can't match the reliability of Slim. Be one of the first to receive the benefits of this new business, pioneered by Slim himself!
CALL 1-800-SLIMCRIME NOW!!!
      Slim surveys the city skyline from atop his tower, resting his elbow on his knee and his chin on his fist. He isn't looking for anything in particular. He comes up here merely for the spectacular view and the quiet solitude, punctuated occasionally by a car passing by far below or the sound of a lawn mower. He can see the shiny peak of city hall from up here, reflecting the numerous points of light twinkling in the city, but that is the extent of this sweeping vista. The ma
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Lord Gorf by Gorfinhofin Lord Gorf :icongorfinhofin:Gorfinhofin 0 0 Pie is Murder by Gorfinhofin Pie is Murder :icongorfinhofin:Gorfinhofin 1 2 Hitler Toast by Gorfinhofin Hitler Toast :icongorfinhofin:Gorfinhofin 5 4 Long Live the King by Gorfinhofin Long Live the King :icongorfinhofin:Gorfinhofin 1 1
Literature
My Untitled Story -Page 1-
The brave knight Benjamin Hamilton raced across the wide plains with a horde of raging, horse-riding orcs, the fierce, powerful barbarians of legend, on his tail. As the orcs drew near he climbed onto a high ridge, unsheathed his huge, jewel-encrusted sword and leaped off into the mob. Slashing this way and that he cut down half of the creatures as the others watched in terror before fleeing into the nearby forest.
Ben let out a triumphant laugh and then set his sights on the giant castle looming dark and ominous over him from its perch among the clouds. He climbed the tallest tree he could find and then with an enormous push off of the branch he was standing on, he soared through the sky and landed with a crash in front of the castle’s gates. One swing of his massive sword gained him entrance, but the castle’s guards were prepared for him. They came at Ben with spears and axes, but all were smote by the great, gleaming blade.
Working his way through the many corridors of the
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Literature
The Chicken Nugget
I noticed a chicken nugget lying in street. This is usually an odd place for chicken nuggets but I ate it anyway. I felt a peculiar painful sensation in my stomach but thought nothing of it. My leg started to fall asleep so I went into the nearest doughnut shop and ordered a smallish-large bag of grape-flavored almonds. As I sprinkled some almonds on my yam juice, they began to speak Chinese, which is strange for almonds as they usually can only speak French. About that time someone said something about a mess on the floor. That’s when I noticed the beak protruding from my stomach. My foot was also a bit crusty and my skin had a greenish tinge. I decided I should see someone about it so I went to a psychiatrist. I showed him the beak and he said it was interesting. He asked me how I got it so I told him it was a figment of his imagination and that he could see me because he was insane and because I imagined myself to be real. At that point I threw up.
“Now see that chicken on
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Knytt Pixel-Map by Gorfinhofin Knytt Pixel-Map :icongorfinhofin:Gorfinhofin 1 1

Activity


deviantID

Gorfinhofin
Gordon Hoffman
Artist
United States
Interests
I was considering making one of these before but I didn't have a really really good reason at the time, but now I do. Because see I can get a free calendar now. On a totally definitely unrelated note, you should totally check this out:
www.pointlesssites.com/
Pointless Sites is where I get all my best random, weird, time-wasting websites, pictures and games! But really, it has all sorts of fun stuff. Great goodies, good greaties, all that sort of stuff.
And now I'm too lazy to write the rest of this.
  • Eating: Cap'n Crunch

Comments


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:iconshutupokay:
shutupokay Featured By Owner May 10, 2013
RIP best LPer.
Reply
:iconbloxy06isepic:
Bloxy06isepic Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2011
nice cat thing
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:iconstrange-darkness:
Strange-Darkness Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2010  Student General Artist
Rawr
Its a me!
anyway you got a warped style of art , its quite great!
Reply
:iconmrmistermonkey:
MrMisterMonkey Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2010
YOU KNOW WHO I AM.
Reply
:icondhartje:
dhartje Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2010  Student Digital Artist
Hey Gorfie worfie! I'm never saying that again. Its Whistler from Nifflas Support Forum
Reply
:iconmrmistermonkey:
MrMisterMonkey Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2010
gorfie
Reply
:iconmrmistermonkey:
MrMisterMonkey Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2010
worfie
Reply
:icongorfinhofin5:
Gorfinhofin5 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2010
Yo Gorf! This is zombe08 from youtube. You have some odd but cool art
Reply
:iconthegeldar:
thegeldar Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009
Hiya Gorf! This is PickYerPoison; that username was already taken. X)
Reply
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